It is possible to have an amicable divorce! Ending your marriage does not have to involve a blame culture, a lengthy court battle and emptying your bank account. Instead, you can approach divorce proceedings in a way that allows you and your spouse to resolve your differences, peacefully. It’s better for you and your children.
The word divorce is tarnished, often conjuring images of warring exes, bitter court battles and a culture of whoever hates the hardest, wins the most. The truth is, no one wins. A hostile divorce is emotionally scarring for everyone involved, including your children.
Many separating spouses believe amicable divorce to be a myth, but it is possible, if you know what one looks like. As a Leicester family lawyer, I can assure you that a peaceful approach to divorce will lead to a better outcome for all parties. I am a strong advocate of no fault divorce, and that’s the first step on your journey to an amicable split.
How to Have an Amicable Divorce in 5 steps
1. Agree to divorce without blame
It’s rare that separating couples plan for a disastrous divorce. The number 1 reason most divorces descend into chaos is because people think British family law doesn’t give them any other option but to assign blame to their spouse. However, you do have a choice.
Even if the other party is in the wrong, attributing blame will only drag out the divorce process. If you truly want to end your marriage swiftly and peacefully, you have to agree how to divorce.
2. Focus on the bigger picture
It’s amazing the number of minor issues that I’ve come across that can derail a divorce. If you want to get through proceedings peacefully, you will have to pick your battles. Focus on what’s important to you to avoid getting caught up in trivial issues. If you have children, focusing on the bigger picture is even more crucial.
3. Negotiate the terms of your divorce in good faith
A good faith negotiation involves laying all your cards on the table, disclosing all details about assets and finances. Providing information that’s complete, accurate and truthful will help divorce proceedings run smoothly. You don’t have to agree on how things will be divided, but good faith negotiation requires trust on both sides.
4. If children are involved, put them first and be good co-parents
Your family must come first in order to achieve an amicable divorce. Divorce mediation is key in this instance as an alternative dispute resolution process that will help you focus on improving relationships, rather than destroying them further.
Mediation will help you to make divorce decisions that are in your children’s best interests.
5. Discuss divorce terms out of court in an environment of dignity and mutual respect
Divorce proceedings by their very nature can get heated. Dragging your divorce through the courts is the opposite of amicable divorce and only adds fuel to the fire. Courtrooms tend to make people feel more defensive, leading to confrontation and ultra-hostility.
Instead, discuss mediation options with a divorce lawyer that will help you settle your case without a courtroom battle.